Stop

I cant believe the way im feeling so lonely. I gotta stop feeling like this why is there so many feelings like this... were is my dream girl... I keep on thinking i found the one and it ends up being not her what is going on in my life why cant thinks start going right and stop going wrong all i want is happyness thats it. am i allowed to get that

How im doing?

How I am doing? I am not doing well at all. I feel so sick that i am going to die... I fight every day with my moms boyfriend. Even tho I do not start it but I thinking if i did not exist these things would not happen and my mom would not hate her life she would be so happy... Becuase the fighting would stop. I cant seem to get a job no matter how hard i am trying Im losing my mind... Having panic attacks over stress crying for no reason at all i even broke down in front of 2 people this past weekend. Im a emotional wreck and, I do not know what to do. i have no one to turn to to help me becuase i do not want them to see me as a bad person or some thing i do not know what to call it. I just know one thing. I NEED HELP!!! with no money, no job, and im sick. this is scaring me i only have 2 weeks now to find a job get a place to live and get healthy so I can work hard.... OH MY GOD!!! im so scard. I can not live on the street again i cant do it i will die my health is going to shit... I wish some thing would go right. but it will never happen.... I should not let these things get to me as there is way worse off people then my self...

Weekend

I had the best weekend ive ever had... i spent time with such awesome people... I cant wait to do this again i hate that i cant do this every day. sure some things were bad but i can get over it... i just want to prove to people that im a guy that can be with you for ever and im going to do that. i am sick so if i do not keep this updated i will probably be in the er.

I think to hard :)

Ya know i think about stuff to hard earlyer i posted about hating valentines day. well i do not  and that was very selfish there is so many sad people around so im not going to be  sad. that is selfish i will cheer each and every one them up the reward i want for this is NOTHING i do not want to get any thing for doing this. i just want you people to be happy. if you want to repay me just post on my wall what you think of me on facebook. I love all my friends the same way i love my self witch is a little to much... I mean have you see my body O M G im hot lol im just kidding but for real please cheer up if your alone by your self on this great day and you are sad come talk to me ill help you threw it. every one needs some one to hear them out and im that some one

Valentines day

Valentines day is  such a hard day as i have never had a gf during it or been with any one for it this sucks cuz i want to be with the chick so bad but i cant... there is so many reasons why not but it  cant be helped im going to impress her i just dnt want her to get wearied about by me i mean we know each other rly well but AHHH i suck at this stuff.

Worry

Is it bad that i worry about my friends?

Hell on earth

Ok the sadness of facebook got to me for the last couple months ive been sad but the last 2 years of my life has been hell on earth. my dad died and so many other thigns have happened ive had it so freaking hard i hope this year gets better i look at my body and all i see is sickness and destroyed body.  i men if you look at my hands i can see bones and every vain my skin is pale and i all ways feel sick to my stomach. i feel like my heads going to explode all over the place. how can people just move on after seeing there father die in front of them how do people move on from these thing. im sorry for bloggin about sad  stuff all the time its just how im feeling i hope after tuesday,  (im hanging with a bunch of friends) ill feel better.  i want this to go away i want the nightmares to end i want to stop being sad all the time. thats  why im thinking that helping people is a good thing for me because it makes me very happy.  there is this girl i really like she is perfect the only problem is she is sad too and i want to make her happy. i will talk about this girl in a later blog.

the situation

so im sitting here watching brokeback with a group of amazingly hot chicks and im not paying attention to the movie at all i do not even know what the movies about and this girl leans forword and i saw right down her shirt and saw every thing so now i got a hard on and then she looks up i look away and i start watching the movie and i find out its about the gay men so now im trying to hide my boner and then the girls start payin attention cuz im blushing and im shifting around to hide it i think ill go with i go to the bathroom to take care of it but then one of the girls walk in on me and now i have to explain to them it was not cuz of the movie it was cuz of that one girl so i start explaining why and they are just laughing at me and im thinking to my self ill never get with these girls now to this day i have not lived it down...... it was so awkward explaining this lol btw this is made up think you to the idea jeff  b. comment to tell me you  like it and ill keep making story's up

my view of love and my goal in life

there is all different kinds of love, there is the love we have then there is the love for friends and fam and then my love to show kindness to people that need it. my goal in life is to show as much kindness as i can and stop being sad i will do this no mater what ill put others needs in front of my own i do not need money i do not need any thing for my self i just want every one on the world to be happy and loved. so today im going to start a project and that is to go on youtube and facebook and cheer people up and when im walking around out side i will then be kind to random people or do some thing funny. i feel like this is some thing i have to do nothing will stop me. by tell a new post

WORD WHAT IS WITH

Ok im sitting on the computer and i see on facebook so many sad people it makes me sad i wish i could just cheer every one up. i want people to be happy it sucks that there sad but when i say some thing they will probly get offended so i will not message you just convo me im sure i can try to cheer ya up peace out

Shinedown-Breaking Inside - with lyrics

Sissy's Song - Alan Jackson With Lyrics

3 wishs

if i had 3 wish
i would wish for every one to be happy
i would wish for every one to have food
and i would wish for you to be wit hme
with

The Smashing Pumkins "Zero"

Deaf Pedestrians - 15 beers Ago

i feel sorry

I feel sorry for all the people that are truly sad and lonely during the Valentine Holiday. Im sorry to all of you but do not give up hope you will find some one out there.  Im sure you want to fall in love but it does not happen over night. like in movies. If your reading this your telling this how does this guy know what he talking about he has not had a girl friend in 2 years. becuase im lonely but i do not let it get to me to much theres gotta be somebody for every one and i know as i type these things if the love of my life is reading this then i know she will message me and tell me. its not about me tho its about you if you want some one to talk to about love or any thing man or a women let me know i do not want you to be sad and alone and dealing with this by your self good luck and be safe.

Three Days Grace - Last to Know with lyrics

this will be for her

new trade mark

this is going to by my new trade mark Rich Vanden Aker has a nick name by the name of Dick Dangler lol

I think this song is ok

The Fray - Look After You

what am i doing

what am i doing im just sitting on the computer i miss all my friends i miss hanging out with them every day and getting drunk at party's why did it stop. most of all i miss laughing all the time lets hope things get better. I have a feeling they will i mean i miss these things but that's part of growing up. I do not even really do any of the things i use to do. life sucks but im going to deal with it the best way i can. Im thinking allot and thats causing panic attacks and headaches. but ill be ok all i need is to have a little fun if i die from these things ill be glad i lived the life i had. Im sure no one will miss me when im gone i have not affected any one the way my dad did but im trying the best i can be. peace out thank you for reading im looking for some one to edit these and make them look better im not very good at spelling or any thing like that so sorry about that. peace

Augustana - Boston

OneRepublic - All Fall Down (Live)

Lifehouse - Hanging By a Moment Lyrics.

Apologize by Timbaland feat. One Republic made by linkinparkfan54

good song

thank you to the person that made this video click watch on you tube to see who made it. dyaa1810

Do you think

Do you think people can be happy with out having some one in there life?  I do not think it can happen. there has to be some kind of love involued in your life with out you losing your mind some people are so scared about being alone that that they make sure they are never alone. I have been alone now for 2 years and i have a few people i like and im trying to get with  Ill talk about them with out saying there name one i have know for about a month now and she is SO awesome she is funny kind very cute and not that looks matter  but good looking she is a little younger then me but you would not know it we talk all most every day all day. we will name her 1. then there is a girl i know for about 12 years now. She has a kid she has a job i think we do not talk to much any more and when im around her im just sad im not with her more i would love to see her allot more but do to some things we can not see each other as much as we want to well as much as I want to. she is also very kind very cute and very good looking she is VERY mature. ill probly never be with her but it does not hurt to talk about her. I all think she has a boyfriend but like i said im not to sure.. 3 i only know for about 6 months now and she allso has a bf and is very cute but her kindness is so unreal that it attracts me to her she is dealing with some bad things at this time but i wish she would just give me a chance to help her deal with these things. it sounds like to me that her boyfriend is a asshole and is driving her to do some crazy things i wish i could her.



Im going to talk about some thing really really hard for me my dad. he was the coolst person you could no he is so freaking kind to people and never judge sure me and him fought but i was stupid. every one is stupid about some things......... My dad died do to hart attack..... I was suppose to do shovel the drive way but i just got home from work and it was a long shift so i went and took a nap then i hurd my dad shoveling. So i came out side and said dad let me do it he yelled at me no ill do it, after he got done doing the drive way he came in side breathing really hard and that scared me becuase my dad never does  that. as he was in side i herd him yelling at my mom about how lazy i was then i hear a bang. he fell he was now suffering from a hart attack..... my mom yelled for me i then run in there a see him and a break down no not this im so sick to my stomach  just taking about this. as me and my mother was trying to revive my dad even with the dr over the phone. the emt  go to the house and worked really hard to try and revive my dad but did not. he died on dec 10 at 7 30 pm do to hart attack i lost not only my dad but my best friend in the world he would care about things that i cared about he would talk to me and would not yell at me for no reason he all ways took care of us good and it FUCKIN sucks that he is gone im suffering so much right now that im reliving what happen that night i have no idea how to deal with it.....  i then lost my job a few months later was homeless and now im back at my mom trying to get my life together i need help from my friends to get threw this with out you i am not me so thank you for thoes of you that helped me deal with my dads death  and hung out with me.


love you dad Keith Vanden Akker Nov. 24, 1963
Departed on Dec. 10, 2009
http://obit.cookfuneralhome.com/obitdisplay.html?id=734800&clientid=cookfuneralhome&listing=Found

I love the sound of this song it is really cool. it does make me think tho and realize  allot of things but ill be fine. enjoy the song

move looks sweet as hell

Its late

Hi its late. I am posting at 307 am eastern im sad i miss my old life i want to have a job why does this stuff happen to good people shit pisses me off all i do is be nice to every one i know and i help out so why is it that bad things keep on happening to me i want it all to stop. My dad my friends have died i have allot of friends and i feel very loved but i do not know if they mean that becuase all i see is backtalk about me from people Ive been friends for 12 years. I want to be happy its all i ask for. God i pray to you right now please bless me with some one that can hold me and explain that every things going to be fine. sure i have meet a few women but there out of my league should i stop believing in the league people tell me i show but these girls are so great deftly a women i meant the other day she is awesome good looking funny amazing all i do is think about her is that weird? i do not know but i hope things work out girl you know who you are. i want to feel the love im probably lame for saying this but i want it... that is all for now good luck every one have a good day/night pending on what time you read this. sorry about my spelling i try my best.

another good song by my fav band

One of my fav songs i play this band when i blog

Edit

Love

by Rich Vanden Akker on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 1:41am

1. feel tender affection for somebody: to feel tender affection for somebody such as a close relative or friend, or for something such as a place, an ideal, or an animal
2. feel desire for somebody: to feel romantic and sexual desire and longing for somebody
3. like something very much: to like something, or like doing, something very much
4. Love Rich Vanden Akkers  what it means to me is love is an affection for somebody that you cant live with out that no matter how much they fuck up. you will all ways love them even after they die  you will still love them. love makes bonds like nothing els  you feel there love from miles away and every time you feel there touch  you feel there hart. your hart races when you think about them or when you see them  this is love to me

I have a fealing

I have a feeling things are starting to get better. thank god. i want to be happy. and i know thats going to happen i can feel it in my hart. i know im not very smart. yes i suck at spelling but if you just understand what im saying thats all that matters in the end. im going to list all the things i cant do then going to show you all the tings i can do. i cant spell i do not talk very good im dumb im ugly i cant see out of both eyes im fat. now this is all the things i an do, i am nice i am funny i am out going i make every one around me smile i drop what im doing to help you i am all ways hear to help you no matter what. if im sad and you are sad i stop caring about my self and start caring about you and try to cheer you up. i do not care about money i are about you. when i meet you i  am your friend tell then end even if you fuck me over ill still help you out i do not care if your gay bi what ever as long as your happy being you. I see my self as some one that looks over there friends and guides them the best they can even if it hurts me or if i love you for more then a friend and you love some one els i will help you go with the other man. I do belive in god but i do not push my god  on you if i did some how im sorry. like i said im all ways here for you if you need my help just message me ill help you the best i can i do not care what im doing ill stop to help you i love all my friends and i hope to see you all for fill your dreams. Good things come from a good hart be kind to those who need  it please

found this on the like page and i like it cuz it said who i am

Hi, I'm a guy. I'm single. I would never cheat on you. I would always text you first, tell you that you're beautiful every day, say I love you in front of my friends, never choose my video games over you, protect you, try my best to never make you cry, hold you and never let you go, kiss you in the pouring rain. Yes, ladies, I do exist. No, I'm not gay. Stop dating douche-bags and jerks.

I know you are out there

I know your out there the love my life. i know this so much so that i can feel it. i want to see your face i want to feel your touch. i know there is some one for every one im sure your kind and beautiful. im sure your funny and sweet. I know you excited to meet me as much as i am. I cant wait to meet you but im going to stop looking and you will find me. ill know your out there so just go ahead and tell me. ill hug you and hold you and make you smile when your sad. Like i said ill know you here and thats why im going to stop looking even if you do not read this your going to know because when i look in to your beautiful eyes ill know right then and there that your the one for me so cheers to meeting you i cant wait to spend time with you. every body that knows you and me will know that were the right choice for each other so lets just do this. i do not believe in leagues. if your hot or not i do not care as long as i love you and you love me  thats all that really matter...

So im typing this to the song One Republic All the right moves. sorry about the spelling hope it helps me find some one peace

I have done this

I have done this before.. I was blogging on  facebook how my life is going so i decided to put them on here since i do this daily and all most hourly my fealings change so much lol well here it gos ill be posting all my stuff on here it should take an hour or two good luck