Paranoid

So every thing is working out for me but i cant help to be paranoid it sucks so much i feel like some thing should go right but i cant help to feel this way i feel lonely even tho im not i do not understand these feelings i know im in love she loves me she has told me so why do i feel this way i do not even know any more i cant help it but feel this way it SUCKS im like crying right now i feel so scared i just hope i get over this what ever it is my girlfriend sent me some numbers to  some people that can help me. Im gonna wait tell next wenesday i think i just need to work i really care about my girl friend i love her so much i know she will read this she reads all my post.. I love her so much i hope she does not get mad that i feel this way i know once i see her every thing will just go away and we will be fine as im typing this im playing the song aftermath-hurt ok thank you for reading i get 300-400 views a month i cant believe you people care please comment more i had some nice comments from some one ok good bye

A message from me :)

Ok so lately i have seen some sad things and people that are sad. I would like to tell you all that i feel like its my duty to cheer you up or at least talk with you so if your ever sad let me  know and ill talk to you and i hope make you happy. im  there for you even if you do not know me i love life allot and i do not want to see some one die cuz they have no one to talk to :) ok thats all i got to say for today i hope to update this more but with little time i have its hard

i feel kinda sad

Im feeling kinda down today starting to realize so many different things, most good things. but i can not help to  feel soo sooo down i do not know why , i hope when i talk to my gf tonight she will make me feel better  i need her here but i do not know when thats going to happen i cant even believe that she wants me im so lame dumb and ugly and she is so amazing funny cute so so beautiful . shit as im typing this im having a panic attack shit man this sucks the pain i get from these is unreal its taking me a wile to type this when it should be like 30 secs to type all of this .. i do not know any more im so useless i hope my gf loves me

My girlfriend

Im not really good at romantic but im gonna give it shot  my girlfriend is so amazing she tells me she loves me she tells me how much she cares... i care about her so much i love her so much i want her to be around her as much as i can. i  want to wake up next to her i want to see her every day i love her.. she is so freaking beautiful im so attracted to her hart and personalty. she is my world and i want to do every thing i can to make her happy. If she needed my hart to live i would give her my to keep  her alive cuz i could not live with out her she is the greats thing that has ever happened to me... I do how ever need advice to want to talk to her about lol all i keep doing is talk to her about how much i love her lol well we know so much about her all ready ...  

This pain

so im having trouble breathing and i have allot of pain threw my body im shacking allot and i feel like some one is chocking me. but i have nothing to fear but i am still scared its called a panic attack i have them to do some problems i have had in my life.. but idk why im having one today im happy im not sad or any thing but its so bad i am soaked in sweat i am so scared i feel like im dieing but its ok i only get 3 or so a day but there normally not this bad i just get a shock of  pain and my hart races and then its over i wish there was some thing i could do.. i probably deserve this but im still happy i just want it  to end so i can get a little bit of sleep

how do you know when you LOVE some one

Love love love love love love what is love, you know when you love some one is when your hart beats 1 mill times a min or cant sleep cuz she is not besides you or when all you do is  think about her, were she makes you do crazy things (in a good way). love is when she hugs  you and you melt in to water like ice in the sun light love is the best emotion in the entire world. you love some one when u look at her picture and you feel and overwhelming warmth. i think that is how you know your in love...... when she hugs you you want to hold her forever and not let go that is love i think im right but if not well then i guess i like being wrong about this :D i have a girl friend now guys and she is the best girl ever Casandra beebe you are the best girl i am lucky to have you as  i tell you that over and over

IM SO HAPPY

Life is starting to fall in place to me i  got to meet some one really cool thanks to facebook i did not realize that i liked her tell after her and her bf broke up  she is so amazing im having so many feelings i do not know these feelings its been so long im so happy she is just so beautiful and cute and funny and kind so many things ahhhh i cant stop thinking about her i hope that is not weird im so nervous i hope im good enough for her i hope i do not mess any thing up. im so freaked out about not be good looking enough im a mess right now but im gonna get my hair cut etc i will carry the world on my shoulders for her ill give her my hart i will be there for her.....

Sigh

SIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

I do not know what to do any more im so sick of every thing i want to be happy im tired of waking up alone and seeing no one next to me. I think im a good guy. maybe im not cuz all these bad things that has happened to me. I know i have only had 1 good real relationship the rest were blah and a waste of time... I do not push sex. i do not push any thing im calm and im all ways there for my gf well im all ways there for every one. I just am tired of all the bull shit. i have waited for a girlfriend for 2 years now i have tryed my best to find her then i gave up looking. i just need love advice should i start being a dick or should i keep being nice and be the "friend". the rest of my life I do not know IF YOU DO PLEASE ADD ME ON FACEBOOK AND TELL ME. i hope my next post is a happy post im tired of being sad all the time... talk to me and ask if u want ot talk to me about this post i will not convo you and talk to you about it that annoys people i guess the music i was playing was stop and stay one republic

Allright

So, im in a good  mood today im chating with some friends and i talked to some one that i have not seen in a long time playing music all that good stuff but yet i have this sad feeling in my hart well i figured it out i was so annoying to the people i like as more then a friend cuz i liked them too much that i drove them away i spent to much money on them i went overbored and was rude and  i regret that now.. i really hope i do not lose friends over this I DO WANT TO TELL YOU ALL that i am here for you i am not going to talk my biz to you, but i will if you ask me too i want to cheer you up even if i do not know you i do care i was told once that im not like any other person that person knew and im hoping that is a good thing... like all ways let me know my facebook is on the right side. good lucky and be safe Message me at any time

tired

Im tired

im so tired of the stress

and sadness

and being sick

and lonely
im just tired of the fighting the lieing the every thing why cant stuff start working out the only time im happy is with my friends and they dnt even want to hang out with me WHAT IS GOING ON i do nothing wrong i treat people the way i want to be treated i just dnt get it any more im so tired im so so tired :( i want to be happy and i want it now ive been alone and sad for far to long its my time now i want to be in love i want a job i want my own place i need things things there is no long wants i cant take it any more