Paranoid

So every thing is working out for me but i cant help to be paranoid it sucks so much i feel like some thing should go right but i cant help to feel this way i feel lonely even tho im not i do not understand these feelings i know im in love she loves me she has told me so why do i feel this way i do not even know any more i cant help it but feel this way it SUCKS im like crying right now i feel so scared i just hope i get over this what ever it is my girlfriend sent me some numbers to  some people that can help me. Im gonna wait tell next wenesday i think i just need to work i really care about my girl friend i love her so much i know she will read this she reads all my post.. I love her so much i hope she does not get mad that i feel this way i know once i see her every thing will just go away and we will be fine as im typing this im playing the song aftermath-hurt ok thank you for reading i get 300-400 views a month i cant believe you people care please comment more i had some nice comments from some one ok good bye

A message from me :)

Ok so lately i have seen some sad things and people that are sad. I would like to tell you all that i feel like its my duty to cheer you up or at least talk with you so if your ever sad let me  know and ill talk to you and i hope make you happy. im  there for you even if you do not know me i love life allot and i do not want to see some one die cuz they have no one to talk to :) ok thats all i got to say for today i hope to update this more but with little time i have its hard

i feel kinda sad

Im feeling kinda down today starting to realize so many different things, most good things. but i can not help to  feel soo sooo down i do not know why , i hope when i talk to my gf tonight she will make me feel better  i need her here but i do not know when thats going to happen i cant even believe that she wants me im so lame dumb and ugly and she is so amazing funny cute so so beautiful . shit as im typing this im having a panic attack shit man this sucks the pain i get from these is unreal its taking me a wile to type this when it should be like 30 secs to type all of this .. i do not know any more im so useless i hope my gf loves me

My girlfriend

Im not really good at romantic but im gonna give it shot  my girlfriend is so amazing she tells me she loves me she tells me how much she cares... i care about her so much i love her so much i want her to be around her as much as i can. i  want to wake up next to her i want to see her every day i love her.. she is so freaking beautiful im so attracted to her hart and personalty. she is my world and i want to do every thing i can to make her happy. If she needed my hart to live i would give her my to keep  her alive cuz i could not live with out her she is the greats thing that has ever happened to me... I do how ever need advice to want to talk to her about lol all i keep doing is talk to her about how much i love her lol well we know so much about her all ready ...  

This pain

so im having trouble breathing and i have allot of pain threw my body im shacking allot and i feel like some one is chocking me. but i have nothing to fear but i am still scared its called a panic attack i have them to do some problems i have had in my life.. but idk why im having one today im happy im not sad or any thing but its so bad i am soaked in sweat i am so scared i feel like im dieing but its ok i only get 3 or so a day but there normally not this bad i just get a shock of  pain and my hart races and then its over i wish there was some thing i could do.. i probably deserve this but im still happy i just want it  to end so i can get a little bit of sleep

how do you know when you LOVE some one

Love love love love love love what is love, you know when you love some one is when your hart beats 1 mill times a min or cant sleep cuz she is not besides you or when all you do is  think about her, were she makes you do crazy things (in a good way). love is when she hugs  you and you melt in to water like ice in the sun light love is the best emotion in the entire world. you love some one when u look at her picture and you feel and overwhelming warmth. i think that is how you know your in love...... when she hugs you you want to hold her forever and not let go that is love i think im right but if not well then i guess i like being wrong about this :D i have a girl friend now guys and she is the best girl ever Casandra beebe you are the best girl i am lucky to have you as  i tell you that over and over

IM SO HAPPY

Life is starting to fall in place to me i  got to meet some one really cool thanks to facebook i did not realize that i liked her tell after her and her bf broke up  she is so amazing im having so many feelings i do not know these feelings its been so long im so happy she is just so beautiful and cute and funny and kind so many things ahhhh i cant stop thinking about her i hope that is not weird im so nervous i hope im good enough for her i hope i do not mess any thing up. im so freaked out about not be good looking enough im a mess right now but im gonna get my hair cut etc i will carry the world on my shoulders for her ill give her my hart i will be there for her.....